Thursday, February 14, 2008

Dear Jim Vandermeer,


Yes, I forgot to bring the eggs today to egg your car as you left the game. You got lucky. I won't forget to bring them to the San Jose game next week. If you wish to avoid having me throw eggs at your car as you leave, may I recommend one or more of the following options:

1. Get yourself traded. Before next Thursday, if possible.

2. Stop sucking. Maybe I need to be clearer about what "stop sucking" means:
*Don't pass the puck to players on the other team.
*Don't look like you are waiting for your shift to be over.
*Don't look at the puck like it is some alien life force that you have never encountered.
*And lastly, (and this is a big one) FUCKING HIT SOMEBODY! I saw you trying to take someone off the puck tonight, and you basically just skated near him waiting for him to pass the alien life force thingy to you. As you were doing this, Hartnell came out of nowhere to FUCKING HIT the guy. Um, hello, not sure if you know this or not, but you are a defenseman!

3. Play like you mean it. Please! You're sucking the life out of everyone around you.

Remember, the eggs will be there with me on Thursday, so step it up for crying out loud!

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